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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Seduction of the Lonely Dogs

Sometimes I secretly administer to the neighbor's dogs' desires. The three dogs, who lead independent lives rarely observed by their absentee owner, treat my activities with the utmost concern ever since I fed them stalks of buttered asparagus through the chainlink fence. They also enjoy: hand licking, biting each other mercilessly for dominance, and ball gnawing.

Indeed, for The Lonely Dogs, "going big potty" is a big part of life. My wife and I have speculated on the eventual crap capacity (crapacity?) of their yard. Considering that half of it is piled with junk that the owner prefers to mow around rather than eliminate, the total poop-absorbing area isn't that big. I believe that we will begin to see the Lair of the Lonely Dogs reach fecal saturation as early as this summer. Once they have poop between their toes while standing up to greet us , we'll know the nitrates are winning.

Has there ever been a dog that poops in the exact same spot until a large "cinder cone" volcano forms? Why have I never seen this? I suppose it's more territorial to spread it around.


Sam said...

Not your most verbose post, but I'm glad to see you produced something. I've been waiting. Cute puppies. You forgot to include "going big potty." Today's word verification is "plecing!"

Chad Woody said...

I have expanded the entry to correct for the omission.