Hot Springs Highlights

Cute wife by the place where we stayed. Careful study of the background reveals the Bill-Murray-like innkeeper doing a little jig.

Fabulous woodsy decomposers.

The Natural Bridge—not in Hot Springs. After you see many billboards touting the Natural Bridge, you'll be saying, "Where's that damn Natural Bridge again?" Finally, after a steep winding road, you'll be there, and the four dollars you'll pay to proceed on foot will all seem worth it when you see the moonshine museum—a female mannikin wearing a beard, overalls and a hat, sitting by a still made from cans—which apparently whets one's appetite for the Natural Bridge. Are you allowed on the bridge? Alas, no, but it is riddled with precarious majesty.

This aggressively snapshotting old lady did not know I was documenting her documania. I called her "The Commander" after the lady from "Trekkies" whom she resembled.

The springs are hot--140 degrees or so.

What the hell is going on here? Don't look too closely.

My favorite Hot Springs TV channel, which adamantly broadcasts this phrase 24/7, just so you know. Also, the stack of pirated DVDs provided by the inn.

The face of Man-Thing manifesting in the earth.

Take the wrong way home. Maybe I'll get a big eyeball tattooed on my bald spot.

No photos available for the following highlights: bitchy motorcycle couple dickering with sales girl over tax amount for jewelry item which may or may not have been real Sterling silver, cute hermit crabs drinking from sponges, a fat guy bending to pick something up and his marbled belly flesh spilling from the sling of his shirt to his knees, a kid who looked like he was being awakened from the near-death of a general anesthesia mishap by the Egg McMuffin his dad gave him—I mean, this kid's face was pickled and his eyes looked like they'd been stitched shut for a fortnight. And of course, a parade of shady-looking characters filling jugs with water from the springs, attributed with healing properties. Apparently, old timers used to come to Hot Springs when they felt like their livers were acting up.