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Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Winter that Wouldn't Die

Chillzilla. King Winter. Snowmageddon.

Here at Cranial Stomp, we know you can't get enough of winter's wonders—encrusted windshields, frozen plumbing, skyrocketing utility bills and frostbitten cockles. Seasonal affective disorder and the trundling pre-disease of mild vitamin-D deficiency. Now you can keep this winter to remember in your heart and home long after the season's gross slushes melt down the gutter. Commemorate the 2009-2010 winter with this original woodcut print by a nationally unrecognized master of the half-ass, Chad Woody.

All your favorites are here: Floppy Duck, Burly Rabbit and Sasquatch, buried up to their necks in misery, helping you recall the season when J.D. Salinger gave up the ghost, Dexter got cancer, and YOUR car wouldn't start. You live in Florida or Texas? Fuck you, too--there was snow on the ground in ALL 50 states (Hawaii unconfirmed) this past Valentine's weekend, even though snow refused to fall on the Vancouver Olympics even as kids foolishly died trying to ice skate near Atlanta, Georgia. Keep this bitter irony alive for generations to come with this fine tribute to winter 2010: a block print lovingly rendered in two dimensions, demonstrating how the elements take their toll on humanoid and beast alike. Light embossment in the paper serves as evidence that some sort of pressure was applied in the elbow-greasy printing process, and Mr. Woody's signature proves his basic literacy.

All this can be yours for the agreeable price of $5 postpaid. OR, send just $1 AND a photo of your own winter-related suffering to: Chad Woody, 927 W. Nichols St., Springfield, MO 65802

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