At work I was dumping sand around some pavestones and tapping them into place when this pickup went ripping by with two young jerkoffs riding it and a puff of outlaw flair. I was nearly ignoring their rampage until they yanked it around a curve down the block and I heard something metal land on the road with a clang. It sounded like a pipe, and it was: I went jogging down to get it, thinking, If those fuckers want this pipe, they're going to have to see me.
I grabbed it up and had just enough time to walk back to my worksite before I heard the same loud truck circling back, driving slowly along the same curve and then turning around to look some more. I walked toward them in the middle of the road pumping the pipe in the air with one fist, thinking they'd see me in their mirrors. I rehearsed what I wanted to say, something like, "If you didn't drive like an asshole, fuckin' shit wouldn't fall off your truck." Then I'd hand it to the driver through his window, because it was much too long to have in the cab.
Well, they drove off, so I got to keep the pipe.
Coming soon: When Pedi-paws seems like a vibrator!