Ancient Cartilaginous Duckling Unearthed
Yes, it was a weekend that demanded yardwork galore, which in my yard means fighting vines. While pulling some out of my hedge, I unearthed a crumbling ducky portion with the bleached color and translucency of cartilage.
Then I ripped up a root and flipped a garter snake into play. I grabbed it to make sport of it, as one must do with a little harmless snake. At first it was cute, so I decided to get my phone and take its picture. Then the trouble began. I'd held it for 20-30 seconds before it started to excrete a stinky defensive juice--enough that it was dripping off my fingers, so I didn't want to step inside for my phone. Looking around for a bucket to put him in, he got mad and started striking, so I wussed out and dropped him. Then I flipped him outside and scooped him into a styrofoam faucet cover, got the phone, and started taking his picture.
That was when I discovered that the garter snake's natural enemy is the iPhone. The snake started gaping its mouth and striking at every slight movement of the phone.
Maybe the reflective logo or the lens look like predatory eyes. Either way, after getting juiced with all that stinky brine, I was determined to take a cool picture. I tried a few times to shoot him in mid-strike, or even with his mouth coming over the lens, but with the delay of the photo snap, I would have been tormenting him all day, so I finally dumped him out and let him go.
Yes, it was a weekend that demanded yardwork galore, which in my yard means fighting vines. While pulling some out of my hedge, I unearthed a crumbling ducky portion with the bleached color and translucency of cartilage.
Then I ripped up a root and flipped a garter snake into play. I grabbed it to make sport of it, as one must do with a little harmless snake. At first it was cute, so I decided to get my phone and take its picture. Then the trouble began. I'd held it for 20-30 seconds before it started to excrete a stinky defensive juice--enough that it was dripping off my fingers, so I didn't want to step inside for my phone. Looking around for a bucket to put him in, he got mad and started striking, so I wussed out and dropped him. Then I flipped him outside and scooped him into a styrofoam faucet cover, got the phone, and started taking his picture.
Maybe the reflective logo or the lens look like predatory eyes. Either way, after getting juiced with all that stinky brine, I was determined to take a cool picture. I tried a few times to shoot him in mid-strike, or even with his mouth coming over the lens, but with the delay of the photo snap, I would have been tormenting him all day, so I finally dumped him out and let him go.
2 comments:
I hate that smell
when I pick them up with the "snake tongs" (shout out to hillbillies everywhere) they never emit a smelly goo. what are you perverts doing to them?!
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